Gillmer casts Reincarnation!

So, yeah....nobody reads this thing, including the 3 of us who "own" this blog...more emphasis on me though, I mean....June 27th was the last time I posted anything. Looking back at that post, neither concept album went anywhere despite the initial hype that I gave it. I think they died for lack of trying and for moving too fast into writing/idea making. Oh well though, such is the nature of ideas. I've not much to speak upon this day. My life is consumed with repetitive work and school...and Dragon Age:Origins.....but not much else. Uhhhh.....I leave everyone (no one)

Aubade

It's all the same to morning what it dawns on —
On the bickering of jackdaws in leafy trees;
On that dandy from the wetlands, the green mallard's
Stylish glissando among reeds; on the moorhen
Whose white petticoat flickers around the boghole;
On the oystercatcher on tiptoe at low tide.

It's all the same to the sun what it rises on —
On the windows in houses in Georgian squares;
On bees swarming to blitz suburban gardens;
On young couples yawning in unison before
They do it again; on dew like sweat or tears
On lilies and roses; on your bare shoulders.

But it isn't all the same to us that night-time
Runs out; that we must make do with today's
Happenings, and stoop and somehow glue together
The silly little shards of our lives, so that
Our children can drink water from broken bowls,
Not from cupped hands. It isn't the same at all.

Let's Have a Journal Burning Party!

Oh wow, it's college! Well that was fast eh? It's already been what? Four, five weeks of college? Something like that. To be honest it's not as great as I thought, but it's not terrible either. It takes some getting used to, and I miss everyone so god damned much. A new start only seems good when you need to start over, I don't think I did. Now here I am though, and I'm singing a simple song getting lost in the complexities (not my words). So maybe I'll let go of my past and embrace this new future, maybe not. I'll never completely let it all go and there are a few things that I'm gonna make sure stay the same, like having you guys around. So here's another good mood journal entry. I'll see you all soon!

Post Fourth Ramblings

True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness. - Albert Einstein.

So I'm not sure how I feel about the fourth. I like this place, it's pretty great for me, it might not be the best place on earth but we have some good ideas and I like our holidays and all the people that I know and love are here. At the same time I know that we've done a lot of terrible stuff (and we keep doing it on occasion). I know that I want to live other places, experience the world but I don't think I can leave for good. It seems as if leaving forever would be giving up on it, this whole idea that we have and that would be one of the greatest evils you could commit, being a good person that gives up or does not act when they see something seemingly good do evil. So I guess this is a tentative reccomendation for the US, I like you and you've done some bad stuff but altogether you're my home and you're okay. Happy Birthday and hopefully you'll have many more (and in better health yet!)

-Karl

Sooooooo.....

Yeah, I haven't posted here in a while. So shoot me. I'm actually stoked about writing two concept albums....Weird....Both albums include Karl and T McMast but one contains Brit. Neither "band" has a name, except Karl, T McMast, and I have a tentative name for our project and about 1.5 rough tracks written up for our album. The concepts of either album are all secret like, so don't go asking! BEYA! I think I need to learn how to play an instrument to be of any use xD. Fuck. Oh well, I think I'll figure it out at some point or another....or just stick to writing. All we really have music wise is Karl and T McMast as guitarists for our project and them + Brit on violin for Brit's project. -shrug- Later, folks.

Oh...uh...right, the blog! Yeah!

Twat ticklers and cock caressers, skeeters and skeetets, lady and gentlemen (we have to be realistic here, this is the internet and we are...us, afterall),

I am here today to update a blag, a blag that has laid stagnant for far too long! Who cares? I'll tell you who cares! ...Actually I'm not too sure myself! So to update this mighty journal, that is why I'm here. A famous pop star died. That's all on that. Moving on, selfish things to talk about! I'm learning the violin again, practiced for over an hour today, hurrah! It is very nostalgic looking back at what I've done and then playing it again and having the memories flow back, not all good mind you, but the early ones are and hopefully the ones I'll make in the future will be too (life, friends, violin, guitar, career, whatever!). My outlook on life has changed a good deal this year as you can probably tell for those of you who know me. I have almost stopped caring what people think, though that's not entirely true, it's more of a I'm not afraid to act in embarassing and funny ways anymore around people; I'm not taking everything too seriously. Sure, there are things you have to take seriously, and being mature is knowing when to act a certain way but honestly I know I will always be a kid. We're all kids in grown up bodies and anyone that acts otherwise is someone who bites the buttons off the seats of taxi cabs (he's a twerp!). So my fellow humans, it is time for me to end this endless rambling contradiction for now. Take care and goodnight!

-Fatteh

Huh.

The words I wrote are a broken chain holding me from the criminally insane but it's gone and there's no stopping - all my balloons are popping. ~ Children 18:3 "All My Balloons"

Who would have figured I'd be awake at 12:36AM and want to blog? I didn't think I would be, for sure. I suppose everyone does something they didn't expect once in a while. Regarding the the lyrics that began this post, I suddenly had a revelation at the end of Latin class waiting to go home when the aforementioned song came on my iPod. The revelation was this. Writing keeps me from being insane. I haven't really written much recently but the urge is still there. It lurks under the surface, waiting to be freed. I may be crazy....I'm not sure.

Moving on, I am quite excited to have the opportunity to visit the island of Tortuga this summer. First, it will be a nice albeit short vacation from life. Second, it will be leaving America! Woo! Third, it may give me some sort of incentive to write, or record my experiences as I go along. It should be great fun if I go.

Uh....I suppose that is all I have to say.

Writing, Blags, and the Passage of Time

It seems as if I have been quite lax in reguards to my contributions to...well... this blog and well...life! Or at least this day would lead me to think so if I didn't know better. Maybe it is good to have a few pointless nonproductive days where you just sit around and do pointless mindnumbing yet somewhat defining tasks. That doesn't negate the feeling it brings though.

So you may be wondering about the annoyingly formal diction that I am currently typing in. I am too. There we go.

Anyway, to sum it all up, today was kind of useless but kind of not and I don't like that feeling no matter how many times this sort of thing happens. Maybe it's the culture we live in where we constantly have to be doing something "productive". Maybe it is all just a waste of time, though I wouldn't go that far.

It seems like I've gotten used to having weekends filled with moments that define my life. Those times that I spend with friends that are undeniably precious and, in short, fun; moments where I'm actually out doing something, experiencing the world with other people by my side. It also seems like every day in which I do not have a moment like that or that I don't spend time with my extended family is a day wasted no matter how "productive" I am being.

There is no doubt in my mind that I am lucky to have times like these and to know that more will come in the future, but I can't help but feel as if they are always slipping away or cheapened by the constant heap of deadlines and drudgery of routine. Things are passing so uniformly and so quickly that it seems like the only days I truly live are the days in which I am free for a short time: the time I spend with all of you.

ah...sheeeet

well, i'm not exactly happy these days. i'm paranoid. i'm nervous. i bought a damn lighter for fuck's sake just so i can flick it. Damn, i suck.

Following in Karl's steps...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Yes, I feel dumb for posting this

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Am I the only one that uses/checks this anymore?

Seriously. Am I?

I's growin out mah beard!

That is all.

I feel the need to...

Blag!.. or blog as it is called by normal human beings. It's funny how such a stupid word like blog (which admittedly I am now somewhat fond of) can gain such wide acceptance in such a short amount of time. I guess there's not really any other word to describe rambling thoughts that people post for ultimate strangers to read who have no lives. Har har har. It's almost like a not so private journal. Actually right now this is exactly like a journal, and really I doubt that it matters (at least to me) if it gains in popularity or not. Shockingly this is so far the only post I've actually written without a topic in mind...and then I started talking about blogging.....and now I'm writing this very sentence. Right now. Okay, time for a new paragraph.

So, today was a snow day. I like snow days. Reminds me mostly of sledding and of course that one time I made an epic snow fort with 3 rooms and tunnels connecting the rooms with a couple of my friends. It always seems so close, like it happened only a little while ago. It is weird thinking about things that have passed like they have passed, only a second ago was it now and only a few seconds ago was I typing this very phrase. Uh oh, I'm getting all existential again...

Like most of my snow day experiences though today was incredibly unproductive. Also it involved far less sledding than I would have liked (sadly, it involved none). I feel like i have something of greater relevance to say but it is currently lost on me. Maybe I should talk about the upcoming winter ball which I don't really know if I want to go to. I never really liked dances to tell you the truth. The best dance I've ever really been to was Kelly's halloween party dance thing, and I didn't even go with anyone. It was all friends there and actual decent music, a giant bowl of candy and drinks and we all had a great time. Haha, and it was only last Halloween too, that seems far away now too. Always back to the same topic, maybe that's what I'm really trying to say.

Maybe I just want to live my life the best I can before time runs out...and right now I don't know how.

how i wish

i have sat here for far too long pondering what to blog about. i still have no idea where i am going with this as i type. i have this foreboding feeling in my stomach. it is annoying because i'm not exactly sure why i feel so weird at the moment. it could be because i took a 2.5 to 3 hour nap and then ate dinner, but that was almost 2 hours ago, so i don't think it is that. um.....it could be any number of things really....i shall deal with that issue later, maybe.

something i have just thought of that is weird. i like no one. seriously, there are no chicks that i am currently attracted to/crushing on. that is weird for me because i am usually attracted to at least two chicks at a time and most of the time they are taken or i am too much of a pansy to ask them out. hrm. oh well, i suppose. that can also be remedied at a later time....just not now. or anytime soon. sometime before prom, hopefully.

um.....this has taken me far too long to write far too little.

Angsty post!

Times is the font of angst! Well now I feel silly because this post isn't starting out very angsty. Actually it's probably going to make me seem somewhat manic depressive. Okay. Well this seemed so infinitely important to me that I had to write it down for myself as I did at once feel like shit over something I knew was trivial and indeed still do somewhat but now it doesn't seem so important. Hmm.

So let's talk about juice! Man, what happened to those old juice boxes when they had when we were kids? Now all adults have are these stupid plastic water bottles filled with boring old water. Juice boxes are better. Growing up sucks. Which reminds me, back to the angst! (I know, just when you were enjoying my reminiscing about juice, hang in there)

So the reason I'm pissed/angsty/now suddenly indifferent because I'm coming to my senses is...actually I know what it is but I know that that's only part of my problem. There's a lot of things that I know are bothering me but I can't really explain, so it's a combination of them. I don't want to write about them though as there's enough bitching out there and I know it won't make me feel better because I'm not contributing anything to this. That's probably part of  my problem, I'm not sure how I want to live my life or who I'm going to be. Actually that sums up everything pretty well. I have only a vague idea of what I want to do and I like it but I'm not sure if I'll be any good at it, I'm not sure where I want to live or who I'll be able to keep in touch with, or what decisions I make now will affect any of this and how. The worst part is I know that it's stupid and hypocritical to worry about it because I know that it will most likely work out in one way or another. Generally I'd be happy with any way it works out but after being let down and not seeing things go the way you want it's kind of shaken that attitude a bit. That and I'm damn lonely and I'm not sure if I even want a girlfriend or can even keep one let alone get one or even if I really need one. It's confusing but I've dealt with it, so I guess it doesn't matter, but I'm not sure because part of me thinks it does but that might all just be social pressure that I have to do this or I have to get that and really I just don't know where I am in society or whether I love it or hate it because at times I do and at times I don't but I don't know where I was going with this but it is a huge triumphant run on now so yeah. 

Seems like enough angst for now.

So back to the juice....why was I talking about juice? Oh. Some kind of metaphor for childhood or something. Also my mom brought me a juice box home, which was really cool. 

So yeah, that's basically it. For all who read this: thank you and sorry for wasting your time. For all who don't: actually I don't know what to say to you right now...hmm. Well I guess that doesn't matter since you're not reading this. Righto.

Cheers.

-edited for spelling concerns

Damn it Llama

You ninja'd my post.

And with that cheery start, I add my own thoughts

So, now that we've got off to a good start by talking about careening to our deaths, I thought I'd introduce myself. I'm Karl. Hi. Right, so as time slips away while we preform our menial tasks and contribute to the vast and seemingly endless wealth of information and filth that we so endearingly call the internet (or if you want, the hivemind or intranet[z]s) I can't help but wonder. Will anyone pick up and follow the thoughts of us, three Highschool students, soon to be college students? Will I be able to think of a funny question to place here later on in the post to offset the more serious questions? Will I continue to attempt to draw humor out of self reference? Will I ever get back on to the original intention of what I was trying to convey in this post? Wait, what was that? Okay, right, so time...

Obviously it is fast. It may in fact be shaped like a doughnut. I sort of have an idea on something like that though, or at least a few that I can claim to be my own or at least are discussed among people.

My first thought is confusing. Actually both thoughts are. Let's give it a try. The concept of infinity is hard to grasp. For anyone. Even people who use sentence fragments. For emphasis. It also helps break up the parts where I seem to drone on and on about a certain topic and eventually get to the original idea in which I was discussing. So, infinity, hard to grasp, right. I feel that if time is indeed infinite then there is an unlimited amount of random actions in a system (this system being the universe) to occur. This can lead to some interesting thoughts. Assuming time is infinite, essentially, everything that you believe can happen has indeed happened, will happen, or is currently happening. So say you have a dream about something impossible, maybe somewhere else it is happening, maybe in some other set of circumstances it has happened or will occur. Maybe these assumptions are wrong. I can see a lot of problems and paradoxes about this (if anyone does read I'd like to hear your thoughts on it, and some flaws you think inhibit it).

I seem to have forgotten my second thought.

By the way, I'm sorry for the lack of organization and seemingly random nature of this post, it is a sort of semi-sarcastic stream of concious thing I have going. Maybe I should edit or fix that. Believe me, if this wasn't a bit filtered though a lot of random stuff would show up on this page. While typing random stuff, ass, boobs, balls and titties popped in to my head. Well, they didn't literally...nevermind, I mean the words, you pervs. How many times have I broken the 4th wall now? Christ.

Uh...well shit...I have a lot more to say...

-Love, Karl

And so it's begun!

"As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport."
-King Lear

Thus begins the blog of Gillmer, Llama, and Karl. The quote above is from whence we acquired our blog name, They Kill Us For Their Sport. Basically, if you can't figure it out yourself, the gods kill us for shiggles, just because they can, just like boys kill flys. This reference may be a bit outdated, but it still makes sense today.

On the topic of King Lear, I find him as a man to be pitied and see his fate as that for us all. We all grow old, crawling slowly towards death. We become old and senile and our children turn on us to take our worth from us. They leave us a shell of a man, not even a king in name. Such is a pitiful fate, one I go towards knowing what looms ahead. The question doth be; willst though speak or hold thy tongue when the day of reckoning comes forth?

On a lighter note, I turn 18 on the Monday day of the 19th of Januareh. I am going to New York City with Ms.Kelly Toy, Mr. Karl Koerner and Mr.Andrew "Coconut Man Candy" Hollingsworth. Shall be fun. We most probably are going to the Central Park Zoo, at which I fully intend to ride the carousel. If I can not ride the carousel, I will stand by it and have me droogs take a few pictures of me. While in NYC, I intend to use a decent amount of film. I have yet to use Baby, my 35mm Camera, for anything major. It may snow, which makes me JIMP.

That being said, I cannot thrust my heart into my mouth. In other words, I can't really say how I feel. My thoughts be quite ponderous on the subject of Prom and Winter Ball. Shall I attend and enjoy, attend and not enjoy, not attend at all? Quite a choice I can not make in good conscience of what past dances have held for me: loneliness. I returned from them in quite a stupor as to prevent me from basking in the enjoyment that I must have felt at some point during the night. I will think upon this further and will decide when the time presents itself and not a moment previous.

I bid all thee that hath read a horrorshow night or day, whichever it may be. Fare thee well.