A rant, of sorts

While I was sitting around watching some show on MTV, My Life as Liz, I got to wondering about high school again. The chick in the show, Liz (who would have thought?!?!?!?!), was graduating high school and I remembered something I said in the last few months/weeks/days of high school; that I'm only going to see a few people from high school ever again." Lo and behold, I am correct. Not that I mind too much, but still. In a way, I wish I saw more of the people I knew in high school that I actually talked with....or just had more people to hang out with and talk to in general besides my new house mates, Brian and Erica, and my ever shrinking group of close friends.
To continue more on my life post high school and referencing My Life as Liz, Liz moves to NYC at the end of the show (or what I believe to be the end, don't really care) and all her friends are sad to see her go. I have yet to leave and probably won't actually be leaving the Souderton area until I'm done college, at which point I go where ever the Peace Corp. deems to send me, all assuming that I can actually join the Peace Corp. Everyone who is close to me will be gone by the time I leave so there will be no one to miss me.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad for everyone who got out of the Souderton area, I just don't feel like things last, things change....

Drink up!

I don't know what we are drinking up, but I like coffee. Mmmm coffee. Finals today and Wednesday, though I already had one for today. Twas supa easyz! That is all for now.

Blah. Somewhat less die-y today, though still have headache and kidney area pain. Don't think it is anything serious, just a side effect of eating only crap.

Well, I feel completely horrible today, but can post via my cell phone, so life is good. Hopefully doctor's appointment tomorrow....

REFLECT!

As this semester draws to a close, I believe I can reflect on things that have happened since my college career started. Truthfully, I'd have to say that not much has happened, but some things really have. As far as academics go, I haven't really changed how I do things. I still don't really study, and still don't stress to much about tests and what have you. That is good and bad since college is supposed to be harder, but I don't feel like it is. Socially, not too much has changed though I am sort of more outgoing/annoying than I was before. I have made a few better friends this year, like Frankie and Ungjoon/Sasha. Romantically, I'd say things have changed since I now have a girlfriend, the wonderful Ms. Mia Harpel, and I didn't have anyone before school started. Uh...financially, I'm stable.....and that's about all....

Time Repeats Itself

Once again I see that we've fallen out of keeping up with posting on this, but the college work has picked up again, so I can see why.

The last day of my spring break starts in 20 minutes..baaahhhh! Really not looking forward to going back to class to two more exams. The school just drains me of all happiness and social interactions. At least I'll still have the weekends at home, and a long summer break is only about a month away. Hopefully motivation holds out.

From Pain Comes....Music?

So since about 2 months ago, I have found myself creating a lot of small poetical writing - mainly circulating around love, deceit, growth and redemption. I haven't really sat down to try and work my thoughts into longer poems/songs, but I know it's there. I guess if one thing comes from all the shit going through my mind, best that it's music. Let's hope it stays that way.

6 Words...

Fuck I think I'm depressed again.

Humpday

blah, honors chem common today. once again i have not really spent tons of time studying. what the fuck is happening to my work ethic....i'm really concerned about where it went. i pretty much feel like i have no motivation to do anything. such behavior has come hand in hand with depression in the past. my mood has kinda been up and down recently, so i hope i'm not heading down hill. i guess i'll have to do my best to keep my spirits up in the mean time. oh well...

Is it me, or is it just getting harder and harder to keep up with just posting my own thoughts. I guess it's because I tend to have work to do and am cooped up all day, and when the weekends come I want to be anywhere except indoors (aka away from a computer).

Spring break is 2 weeks away - a much needed break from school. We'll see what fun things happen over those 9 days. Anyway, back to work for me.

Corporatocracy

Corporatocracy: A nation run by corporate interest; government indirectly or directly run by corporations.

Just invented that word, thought I'd post it here to show I thought of it first, haha. I don't know if we're approaching this, it seems like an extremist view but the more you look at lobbying and our nation today... I'm not going to be preachy but there are some things that are hard to ignore. What do you think?

Edit: It is a word and has its own wikipedia page. The question still stands.

Yo dawg

So it's snowing out, very beautiful and the like. Wind and bare trees, gray sky and all that. Looks nice. I've been actually getting work done for a change, which is sort of a surprise to me, not that I'm lazy but it seems that I'm always doing work but never really getting anything done until the last minute. I procrastinate sometimes but honestly, there's just a lot to do.

It doesn't help that I want to do so much either. I want to learn two new languages (either French or Spanish and Chinese or Russian[maybe Polish?]) and I want to start a small business selling things on Ebay (possibly with Kavon and Frankie through Xor). I'm not sure what I'll be selling yet, depends on what there's a market for. Then there's classes and homework and deciding what I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe filming something in the summer. Researching investing and Foreign Exchange. Visiting New York to see Graziella. Visiting Tortola to work on the Solar Chimney. Work in the summer. Working with Hamilton on a research project. Things are going to be very busy this Summer and this semester for that matter. Chances are I won't get some of the things done, but I'm going to try my best.

Hey, it keeps me occupied.

Tired

I hate 8:30 classes, and I hate exams that start at 7:30am and go till 9am on Fridays even more! Yay for Honors Chemistry! I <3 it so much.

It's humpday once again, so the week is almost over. Apparently there's supposed to be snow, but I hope its not enough that it prevents me from going home on Friday (which would really piss me off because this school drives me crazy). Hopefully this week ends on a good note.

We are nowhere and it's now.

So I'm in woodland cafe right now, surrounded by friends, people I know. Watching the snow fall from the gray sky on to the cold white ground while the fountain below shoots white water into the sky above. This place isn't so bad. I've felt lost on some things, found on others and right now I'm neutral, on the verge of feeling good and feeling bad. I'm content. I could walk either way down the road. The thing is I'm not sure that these roads are any better or worse than one another. I'm never sure where they will lead, I'm thankful that I don't most of the time, it keeps things interesting. Sometimes confusion isn't so bad.

Well...

This is awesome. I overslept and missed both my Tuesday morning classes....again. I think I'm seriously going to start taking Nyquil around 9pm on Monday nights so I can fall asleep at a decent time.

In other news, Chemistry exam this Friday (which is going to suck) and concert at the Croc Rock this Saturday. Not much else right now.

Blarg

Blah! I has a jittery feeling in me stomach and body but knowith not what the feeling is! I BLAME THE CAFFIENES!

Busy

Yup, busy week ahead; lots of work to get done. I have yet another test, (shit 2 tests) this week on top of more chem homework. We shall see how often I find time to post. Looking forward to the weekend already haha.

Hunger

I'm hungry. Yup that's about it. Although I am unsure if this stomach pain is because I'm hungry of it's just because my stomach hurts...I think I'm hungry but it could just be my brain thinking it's hungry because I'm bored. fkahfeiahfieahfeapief

Well, shit.

I fucking missed a day. By an hour. Wow, fail me. I still have nothing to talk about. Fuck, I'm boring,

Yey Alcohol

So it is now currently 3:12am that i have started typing this, while listening to some Ke$ha (of course). In addition, i am tipsy/drunk and can still (surprisingly) form coherent sentences with few spelling mistakes (which = epic btdubs). Tomorrow...uh, tomorrow i get to go to JR&A and eat Hungry Man meals and get paid 40 bucks, which is pretty awesome since it's free money. Hopefully I also get to hang out with Randall, Mike, Karl and Mike tomorrow...ah so little time, so many things to do.

Today was decent i guess. Got to see some guys perform some music at Java, got a latte, walked around with Krissy and just shot the bull, and then watched my sister play soccer. Kinda exciting, although i wish i had more time to do stuff currently/i wish more ppl were up at this time (but only crazy/drunk ppl are, woo). We shall see how things go. Anywho, i return to my Captain Morgan and hope to pass out with happy thoughts and the future to come.

Madness!

So the weekend is rapidly approaching, just math and then I'm free. Yes, shocking, I know, I'm posting a blag. You guys have inspired me to start this up again. I don't think I'll be able to keep up with a post every day, but I spose I can if Andrew and Gillz can.

So things! This semester is the semester from Hell. It only gets better from here of course! It seems all I speak of now is school so I should probably stop that. All my doubts and questions will be exposed later I suppose. For now though, it's almost calc time. (yes, talking about school again...) I'll post more later!

I is the hurts

Working out kind of hurts....just a little bit....the burn is good but is annoying as balls...As balls. But it is worth it. If I can stick with it long enough, I'll get in shape, or such is the goal. Hopefully I can meet that goal before I lose my motivation.......

Rant rant rant rant rant...I don't have one!

Keeping the Fun Going

So last night was pretty much the most fun I've had at my college so far (yes, my campus is really dull). I got an idea from my suite-mate and decided to make up a fake NJIT letter addressed to a room down the hall. It threatened them with expulsion, fines, etc if they did not dispose of the raccoon they were harboring in their dorm. I made sure the letter matched all other NJIT letters, down to every last detail. When the guys came back to their dorm, sounds of surprise, frustration and utter confusion ensued. Soon a group of 5 people surrounded the door, reading and re-reading the letter.

"What the fuck?! Are they serious? A raccoon?" "Dude, expulsion? What the hell? Is this legit??!" "Yeah! It's legit, fuckin' look at the letter, it's fuckin' from NJIT."

So after about 10-15 minutes of this, I decided it would be wise to save them from actually contacting NJIT Reslife (considering one guy was already on the phone). I walked down the hall with a brown back and broom and politely asked, "So I heard you guys have a raccoon problem." Haha, everyone got a good laugh and I'm sure it'll be remembered, at least for a little while. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself entertained at NJIT. Anyway, weekend is finally here and I'm off to do fun and interesting things.

One Day

Guess what? Tomorrow is Friday! Finally Friday has come to bring socialization and relaxation to all. After the torture of my Physics Common Exam at 8:30 am, I shall be set free (almost). Weekend looks to include the following: Sleeping in, drinking, get-together with Krissy at Java, late night diner runs with Randall and possibly Georgia and Katie, random walks and cigars with Gillmer and Karl, and loud singing and driving with Brennecke and Tara. Sounds fun.

...Until we meet again.

hrmph.

So, I lied. Obviously this post is nowhere near being around midnight, but oh well. It still counts for today, so all is well still.

Nothing to talk about at this point anyway, so I'll leave a good majority of the talking for later, after work.

So, my question is still posed. In the time that you, the reader, have known me, have I changed or am I the same?

A picture of tomorrow!

So, it took me I don't know how many tries to type that title, as well as this sentence. My ability to type is somehow completely shot...In typing anything, I make at least.....5 mistakes I'd have to say. I don't want to know what is going on with my nerves in my arm to make me mistype everything. All I know, it is a bitch. A complete and utter bitch.

In other news, I'm just chilling and listening to Mia's radio show. You have to give it to the woman, she knows good music when she hears it. No, I'm not just saying that for fun or because I have to....

So, since the title of my post is a picture of tomorrow, I will give everyone a picture of my tomorrow through the normal person lens of how I see it. I will wake up around 10AM. I will drive to school around 1PM. I will arrive home around 5PM. I will go to work at 6:40PM. I will come home at 11:10PM. That is my tomorrow as it has been for the past few weeks because that is what I do with my Thursdays. It's just how I roll.

In response to good Sir Andrew's post, I don't watch the news because it is all bullshit and biased as fuck.

I guess that is all for now....I will update again around....midnight, I'd say.

Fox News is Fucking Retarded

So once again, my hatred for fox news (it doesn't even deserve to be capitalized) is justified. So apparently on fox's segment with Glenn Beck, Beck accuses MSNBC's Rachael Maddow of cutting out portions of film segments she shows on the air (specifically Beck's clips). He states that Maddow airs partial clips to paint a false image for her audience of himself - to mislead the public (specifically on global warming). Maddow retorts on her next show by saying that she did not misrepresent Beck and that he is a liar. Here's the kicker, Beck claims that Maddow left out his sentence stating that "the snow storm proves nothing," in her show, but Beck, when attempting to trash Maddow, blatantly cuts out the segment of her show that airs Beck saying "the snow storm proves nothing." What the fuck? Seriously Beck, are you that much of an asshole? You cut out your own aired sentence, aired on another person's show, so you can then bitch about being "misrepresented?" Once again, fox resorts to sleazy antics and scare tactics.

Distraction

So I guess I'll have to keep up with Gillmer and his goal to keep posting everyday. So currently I should continue to review for my Calc Common Exam which is in about....oh 40 minutes, but seeing as I have a pretty good grasp on it, review should only take about 10 minutes.

Anywho ... it's humpday, which mean the work week is just about over! Looking forward to this weekend - hanging out with old friends, getting to know new ones better, doing some random escapades, drinking, gaming and playing my guitar. As of right now, I think I can still say my mood is looking up, and I'm planning to keep it that way (like attracts like, you attract what you put out). I guess this is enough for now. I think it's time for me to get back to my coffee and relaxation until later tonight.

Growth

Bare tree limbs swaying
The warm heart grows cold in time -
Alone once again.

So this haiku I wrote just reminded me of a few reflective thoughts I've been having after dealing with some disastrous relationships (and some neurotic people). Now, this could become a huge philosophical and sociological discussion, but for the sake of time, I'll just focus thoughts on people, and image.

Image has become something that is more important that life itself to some people. The way others view them is more important than how they view themselves (their moral views, their personal opinions, etc.) Often times I come across, men and women both, who lay a web of disguises, lies, and half-truths to sway another's opinion. Now, although this may seem like a good idea for the moment (which could lead me to a huge discussion on how people are too focused on short-term gratification, but that's for another day), the deceit is always discovered, and the consequences of this are greater in magnitude than anything negative that might have come out of just being honest in the first place. If your general inclination is towards being an "ass," be an ass; if it's toward being a "whore," be a whore. What I'm trying to say here is be upfront about who you are - really deep down, who you are, separate from the perfect image of yourself you may have in your head. Now this isn't to say you shouldn't try to change something bad about yourself, but the first step to encouraging any change is to fully acknowledge the type of person you are, analyze faults, and devise ways to fix them. Denial is only hurting yourself. Accept criticism as a tool (and as a rule of thumb, if a number of people are critiquing the same "fault in question," they are probably right) - don't take it too light or too heavy, but do take it to heart in some form.

Just to summarize (mostly because I have a common exam tomorrow and lab at 8:30 and require some substantive amount of sleep): Don't sacrifice yourself - a chance to better you - just to appeal to the tastes of someone else. All it will create is hardship and heartache. Take my opinion how you will. The choice is yours.

Welly welly well.

It has been forever since anyone has touched this thing, although I go back to it every so often just to see if either Llama or Karl has posted anything, which they never do....I guess we all got over trying to keep in touch. I suppose it is kinda a moot point since Karl and I go to the same University but Llama is in New York City, and we don't really talk that much anymore except about trivial, meaningless things in short text messages. In a sense, I feel like we are growing apart from each other since I went from being close to Llama and talking to him all the time to not talking at all. The same goes with Karl, although we still go to the same university. I mean, we see each other almost everyday but don't talk about anything for the most part. It's hard to explain to someone who isn't me. Heh.

Although we are growing apart, I have made some friends at college. They will never replace those I am losing, but having new friends helps ease the separation a bit. I know they feel nothing for me, and I nothing for them. For the most part, they are placeholders, dolls. We can relate but don't really care what happens to each other. That being said, I seem to be the only one that no one really gives two shits about at school. This makes me envious of those who have someone else who they are close to, who they relate to more personally than just the trivial, everyday bullshit I've got.

For Lent, though I have no idea what the meaning is, I'm not giving anything up. I am going to post on this blog everyday, even if the post is just trivial things about my day or life or just generally junk. It is a sort of vent for anything I may be feeling or just a way to kill time that isn't as wasteful as other stuff I can do.
On a happier front, I'm still alive and kicking. College is going well as far as I can tell, despite the annoying drive to get there. My classes are interesting for the most part and I don't really want to kill any of my professors. In relationship to the rest of my post, the happy part is pretty damn small....

As time goes on, I don't know if I'm really changing. That is a question others will have to answer, and that is how I think I will close this post. Have I changed since you've known me or am I basically the same as I was before?